The Storage Bar - Open 24/7

[MidgetMariachi]

banned, cookie stuffer
hidden img links in his posts

[3dfxrain]

I am defragging.

[Mankind]

The President today put a 40% tax on aspirin.I guess because its white and it works

-----
Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of
town.

Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only
collects about eight or nine dollars a day.

Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day.
He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of
money to spend.

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard
as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar
bills every day?

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlo's sign reads;
"I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."

"What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

"No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"

Carlo's says, "Alright, what does your sign say?"

It reads,
"I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico ."

[Mankind]

LITTLE BOY ON THE BUS
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a
book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little
boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied, 'My Dad dy doesn't wear his collar
like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the
Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two
grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of
hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned
over and said, 'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your
pants on backwards instead of your collar.

[Mankind]

Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!

[Mankind]

During a Sunday interview on Meet the Press:

Obama: "We don't even know if Osama bin Laden is still alive".

Osama himself decided to send Obama a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Hillary Clinton. Hillary and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.


No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.


Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.


Within a minute Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:


"Tell the President he's holding the note upside down"


_____

It has just been reported that the head gardener at
The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal
service to many US presidents.

When interviewed the gardener protested his
innocence and said "All I did was go into the Oval
Office and asked," Has anyone seen the spade and hoe?"

[Mankind]

Happy Memorial Day to everyone!

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure thing. Coming right up.' He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter every where and then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Whoa! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says:'Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee
, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day

[BWM]

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again, Doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.

"What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils removed.

[BWM]

A man comes home late one night, drunk.

"Where have you been?" asks his wife.

"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"

This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.

"Do you have golden chairs?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden glasses?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden beer?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a golden urinal?"

"Hold on." On the other end, she hears

Spoiler!

"I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."

[BWM]

Well I think this is the best/most appropriate place for this post.

There is certainly something worth celebrating each month.

July is no exception, with National Baked Bean Month.

It is thus appropriate for all of us to bow briefly in honor of one our favorite foods.

Just turn up the volume a bit then click the link

[BWM]

[nuke]

WHAT???

[parrotts]

hello to everyone.
i'm a new member and after reading a lot of discussion i decide to register me.
i have a little problem updating bios of my sabertooth x99.
i would like to update it with irst version 14 for nvme support to create raid with 2 sm951 nvme
the ubu works good, it update the driver, but the file that ubu create is not recognized from the ez asus bios updater.
anyone can help me?
thank you
Parrotts
p.s.
sorry for bad english

[CMB]

Use the Asus bios flashback for a modified .cap file rather than the ez bios.
Rename the bios file using the standard filename for your board.
http://event.asus.com/2012/mb/USB_BIOS_Flashback_GUIDE/