Citing a rash of stabbings across Britain, three physicians wrote in a British Medical Journal article published Friday that the large pointed knife beloved by chefs both professional and amateur was needlessly deadly and should be replaced by safer, blunter counterparts.

"The long pointed kitchen knife is an easily available, potentially lethal weapon, particularly in the domestic setting," wrote lead author Dr. Emma Hern of West Middlesex University Hospital (search) in London.

Short knives, Hern and her colleagues Drs. Will Glazebrook and Mike Beckett wrote, generally caused only superficial wounds, but long pointed blades slip into human flesh in a way akin to "cutting into a ripe melon."

The doctors proposed a simple solution — outlawing pointed choppers and slicers.
You knew this was coming.