1. Yes PCI_E 3.0 cards will work in a 2.0 slot, quite well actually.
https://www.pugetsystems.com/labs/ar...rformance-518/
2. Here is what I would do for RAM, get a 12gig triple channel kit. That's 3x4gb sticks, and 12gig will be fine in my opinion. Get a 1600mhz kit, because you are overclocking your RAM when you do a BCLK overclock. Look for CAS latency of 9, and that setup can be had in a variety of colors from different manufacturers on Newegg for ~$70 or so.
3. I remember overclocking my core i7 920 (base 2.6ghz) to 4.0ghz with Hypertransport turned off, and 3.8ghz with it turned on. The system was actually stable at 4.0 with HT on, but it got too hot (90c) in Prime 95. I would think you could push your overclock a little higher, and if you are worried about heat, turn of Hypertransport, aka, Hyperthreading. Unless you really need 8 threads for something else, you don't need them for gaming. 69c is safe, I was worried about 90c during Prime 95, but nothing real world gaming will stress the CPU like Prime 95
4. Speed step is a power saving feature for mobile computers, yes it should be off unless you are using batteries.